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not move. He didn't move either, just stood watching. At
length, when Collins' arms had begun to ache, and he was
feeling quite ridiculous, Adlai spoke.
"And what is Master Captain's pleasure this evening?"
The address went straight to Collins' gut. He didn't want to
die as "master captain," a term Adlai used not just for him,
but Harrison, too. He wanted to hear "Beloved Nathaniel"
again. He said, "I'd like to make you happy again."
Adlai closed his eyes, then hung his head, shaking it
slightly. "We were happy, once," he whispered. "I did not
truly know what manner of man owned me."
"I never claimed to be a good man," Collins parried. "We
are pirates. Legal pirates at the moment, but still the same.
We kill and steal and do it with the blessings of the King."
Adlai looked up at him. "That, I knew. That, I could live
with. You forget, my master, I too have killed in your service.
But I did not know that you were, in your own words, a
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sadistic bastard who would gut-shoot a young man simply to
ensure he died in great pain before his lover."
"He was evil." The words sounded weak even as Collins
said them. They could not stand against the anger and
sadness coming from Adlai.
Adlai turned away. "Then so am I, for allowing all he did to
me." He ignored Collins' negation and continued. "I thought
you were better than they are. You have never treated me
like an animal. You healed me after their abuse. But in the
end, you are the same. And so, I offer myself in the same
way."
Collins put his arms down and stepped in closer. "There is
one thing different." Adlai looked up at him. He stroked the
smooth brown cheek, and whispered, "I love you." He ran a
finger along Adlai's eyebrow. "And I won't tolerate anyone
who threatens to take your eyes at every turn. One who
hates you, calls you ugly."
Adlai looked at the deck. "I feel broken within," he
whispered. "Torn in two with the knowing that you killed him
to save me, yet did so in a way I hate."
"Let me help mend you." Collins drew Adlai into his arms,
having missed the warm weight of Adlai's body, his absolute
trust and love.
Adlai looked up with the first thing approaching hope
Collins had seen in a long time. "Try? Please?" He rested his
head on Collins' shoulder.
Collins pressed him close and rubbed his cheek against
Adlai's hair. "My Adlai will be harder to fix than the Horizon's
mast. But I will try."
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"I ache within. The knowing that you are no better, that
only your love for me keeps you from such atrocities..." He
broke off with a shudder.
"There are times I regret it," Collins admitted. "But it did
get Harrison to disengage, did it not? We could all be dead
now if he had not."
Adlai looked at him. "I do not regret his death. Never think
that. I hated him in ways that would peril my soul as a
murderer were I not already damned for that particular sin. I
only regret the manner of it, and your hand on the trigger."
"Forgive your Captain?"
Adlai pressed in closer, embracing him finally. "If he will
forgive his Adlai for the coldness."
"It is done." Collins clutched him tightly, never wanting to
let go, not wanting Adlai out of his arms again.
Adlai shuddered again. "My beloved," he whispered, his
voice trembling as badly as his body.
"I have missed you." Collins' hands were never still,
roaming up and down Adlai's back, up to touch his hair, down
to feel his hip. He could not believe his man was back in his
arms, and had to reassure himself with endless touches.
"And I you. Ironic we come together only as the calendar
slides toward doom." Adlai barely grazed Collins' lips with his
own.
"Someone's doom. Perhaps not mine." He went distant,
dwelling on the coming duel.
Adlai's voice was low and urgent, drawing him back to the
present. "Beloved, you will win. You must win."
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Collins shook his head. "He is keen with a sword. Perhaps
his grief and the drink will give me some advantage." It was
the only hope he had left. He still bore the scar from the last
duel in his shoulder and leg.
Adlai nodded. "You are not bad," he offered.
"He taught me. And not everything he knows, either."
"Then you must face him with something he does not
know. Find a sword master and learn new tricks to take him
by surprise." Adlai presented it as the only logical course of
action.
"And spend our savings?" The suggestion had taken Collins
aback. Adlai was goal-driven and tight-fisted on his way to
that goal in a fashion that made the most miserly look open-
handed.
Adlai buried his face in Collins' shirt. "There is no dream
without you. If you are alive, there is always more money to
be had."
"I will see who I can find to teach me."
Anything else he might have said was stopped by a kiss
from Adlai. Wet and open and yearning, Adlai's mouth spread
beneath his own, tongue begging entrance. Adlai's body
shifted and he could feel the hardness against his thigh.
Despite his own worries, he felt the answering stirring in his
own body.
"Please, Nathaniel..."
The sound of his name, unheard since before the battle,
made Collins smile. He kissed Adlai again, and then caught
him playfully around the waist. He wanted to distract himself,
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to forget, if only for the night, that his death was drinking in a
tavern and plotting against him.
Adlai smiled, but no laughter came at his lover's
playfulness. He twined himself around Collins and kissed him.
"Love, heart of my heart, come to the bed instead."
He pulled Collins to it and lay down beside him. "When I
returned to you, broken and wounded, you were greatly kind
to me. Let me ease your mind now, beloved Nathaniel."
"There are some things I have to attend to before the duel.
I'd like to do one of them now."
Adlai raised an eyebrow. "I had thought to simply love you
tonight. Now you bring me more work?"
"No, no, you still may." Collins kissed him. "But only as a
free man."
Adlai's eyes went very wide. He stammered, words not
coming out of his mouth. Finally, he managed, "Beloved
Nathaniel."
Collins kissed Adlai, sweet and yielding to his mouth. Adlai
could do nothing but return it, obviously overwhelmed by
emotion.
"There will be no more master captain nonsense, I hope?"
Collins' eyes almost twinkled.
"I am..." Adlai began and stopped, as if unable to say the
word. "This is legal?" Collins nodded. "Oh love!" Adlai clutched
him close.
"Yes, it is legal. You are free. If I am to fall, you won't be
passed on as property to any man." Adlai clung very tightly
and Collins felt hot tears on his neck. He held Adlai just as
tightly.
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